


i don't wanna be your friend, i wanna kiss your lips

by ectoKiddo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexual Dave Strider, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Hanahaki Disease, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Trans Dave, Trans Dave Strider, because he gives off trans energy, davekat - Freeform, he doesn't end up with the oc i promise, this is a davekat fic through and through
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 07:02:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16760293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ectoKiddo/pseuds/ectoKiddo
Summary: It's really genuinely upsetting to me that there are only SEVEN Davekat hanahaki fics up on this website, so I'm here, writing Homestuck fanfiction in the year of our lord, 2018. I haven't posted in over two years and this isn't Beta read, so please, if you see a typo or something that doesn't make sense, point it out! Also, I'm posting an epilogue/chapter 2 soon haha.





	i don't wanna be your friend, i wanna kiss your lips

**Author's Note:**

> It's really genuinely upsetting to me that there are only SEVEN Davekat hanahaki fics up on this website, so I'm here, writing Homestuck fanfiction in the year of our lord, 2018. I haven't posted in over two years and this isn't Beta read, so please, if you see a typo or something that doesn't make sense, point it out! Also, I'm posting an epilogue/chapter 2 soon haha.

Some days just aren’t good. Some days you flunk your math test, some days your older brother steals your copy of Love Actually and drops it on the hardwood and breaks it, some days your dog dies, but through it all, your best friend was there for you. Dave was always there. All you had to do was reply to his daily “how ya doin?” text with anything slightly more negative than you normally would, and he’d be right there at your doorstep. Of course, you always did the same for him. When Terezi dumped him in 10th grade he stayed the night and you two sat in your room for hours talking about how she didn’t deserve him, how he could do so much better, that every girl in school wanted him and Terezi was a goddamn fool for letting him go. When, in 11th grade, he came over because he was having trouble in Physics and ended up having an anxiety attack because “Karkat, I think I like men too and I don’t know what to do about it, I can’t be gay and trans jesus,” and you hugged him until he could breathe again. You two always always had each other, since middle school when he had moved to Michigan from Texas. He had moved right across the street from you too.

Now though, it’s 12th grade. Your senior year. You had both applied to college, and both of you had gotten in (go you!). You hadn’t gotten into your first choice, or your second, but you did get into your third, which just so happened to be Dave’s first. Funny how that worked out. He’ll be going for Film, which baffled you a little bit. Everyone thought he’d be applying for music production, which makes sense if you barely knew him. You thought he’d apply for archeology, given the state of his room at any point in time. It was always filled with dead bugs in jars and taxidermied animals. Film was out of left field. You applied for Illustration, no surprise to anyone. All you did was draw. You could fill up a sketchbook in two weeks, quite the impressive feat.

Now that you both were done with college applications though, you had time to think. The worst passtime, you both agree. Especially when Dave left to Cuba for two weeks during spring break. You were left alone with your thoughts for two weeks straight, and god damn if you didn’t know how to cope. You couldn’t talk to Dave because he didn’t have service, stupid international phone fees, so you could only talk at weird times when he happened to have internet.

So of course, you decided to do what any newly 18 year old would do, and you downloaded Tinder. You weren’t necessarily looking to hook up with someone, for some reason you never really got crushes on anyone. The only person you could see yourself with the rest of your life is Dave and well… that was purely platonic. You just really craved some human interaction, and all of your friends were busy with their significant others or on vacation.

So you downloaded the app and set up a profile, listing that you just wanted to talk, looking for friends, and started swiping. You didn’t really know what you were doing, because you were swiping left way more than you thought you would considering you just wanted to talk to someone. After what felt like hours, but was really only about 30 minutes, you got an alert: “New Message”.  
Daniel: did it hurt when you fell from heaven?  
You snorted at the message. You did not think someone would actually use a crap pickup line on you, but one more look at this guy’s profile, namely, his blond hair and the picture of him in a pool with sunglasses on and his abs out, you decided to reply.  
KK: DID YOU ACTUALLY JUST SEND ME THE CHEESIEST PICKUP LINE YOU COULD THINK OF?  
Daniel: yeah, im bad at starting converstations  
KK: YOU AND ME BOTH  
Daniel: so did it?  
KK: DID IT?  
Daniel: hurt. when you fell?  
KK: I DON’T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND  
Daniel: oh rip, ok. nevermind then.  
KK: SORRY, I’M NEW TO THIS.  
Daniel: its cool bro, dont worry about it. do you like mario kart?  
KK: FUCKING- YEAH, OF COURSE I DO.  
Daniel: ok, ur profile says ur lookin for a friend. wanna come over and play?  
KK: I’VE NEVER MET YOU BEFORE, HOW DO I KNOW THIS ISN’T A TRAP?  
Daniel: i dunno man, i was just kinda hoping youd trust me. i can send a picture of my face if you want, make sure im real and all.  
KK: I MEAN  
You stopped typing and looked at your phone. You really did like Mario Kart, and you desperately craved someone to talk to. And if this was just a booty call, well, maybe you wouldn’t mind.  
KK: WHY THE FUCK NOT. WHAT’S YOUR ADDRESS?  
\-------  
One hour and a very awkward Uber ride later, you arrived at Daniel’s house. You checked your phone and texted him that you were outside. Only seconds later he opened the door. You looked him up and down, taking in how he towered over you, how his blond hair flopped in front of his pale face, how his eyes were a beautiful chocolate brown, how he was skinny but muscular, how he could easily overpower you- fuck. You felt your face getting warmer by the second.

“Come on in man,” he laughed. You followed him inside to his thankfully air-conditioned house and up the stairs into Daniel’s bedroom. You felt awkward, that’s for sure. Your default was usually yelling when you were uncomfortable, but in this situation that definitely wasn’t an option.

“Sit,” Daniel gestured to one of the beanbags in front of a TV. You mumbled an awkward thank you as you sat, and he sat down in the beanbag next to you.

“Mario Kart?”

“Fuck yes.”

You felt your body relax a bit as the TV turned on and the Wii was booted up. Daniel handed you a remote and was even kind enough to let you pick the first track you raced. Of course you picked Yoshi Falls. He chose the next round, which was Bowser’s Castle, which had you screaming at the TV in anger as Daniel pulled into first place after you got hit with a blue shell. After two rounds of him somehow beating you (truly, you thought you were good at this game!) and you screaming profanities at him, he put the controller down while the winner music played and his player (Baby Mario) carted around the track. You looked at him in confusion, feeling the urge to apologize for yelling so much. Maybe that’s why he stopped laughing and jabbing insults back?

“Hey man, I’m sorry if I was too loud or some-” he cut off your apology with a soft kiss. You felt your eyes widen before closing them and kissing him back. You vaguely thought something along the lines of “this might as well happen” before sighing and leaning into Daniel.

It wasn’t your first kiss, far from actually. Dave had dragged you to a few parties, pulled you into just as many games of spin the bottle that would occasionally end with a pretty girl in your lap and your tongue down her throat. You’d usually get stoned beforehand anyways, and weed tended to make you touchy. That is to say, you weren’t inexperienced. So when Daniel wrapped his arms around your waist and shifted you from your beanbag to his, you took the hint and put one hand in his gorgeous and surprisingly soft blond hair. His hands gripped your shirt and you took a sharp breath as he nibbled your lip and slipped his tongue in your mouth. You leaned back into the beanbag, pulling him almost on top of you. You could feel the beanbag slipping away underneath you, and just as your ass was about hit the floor he pulled away.

“I have a bed, if you want,” he mumbled, keeping his lips on your skin. You gulped and looked at his ceiling. Were you actually about to do this? He looked like Dave, you couldn’t sleep with some guy who looked this much like your best friend, could you? Then again, it had been a long ass time since you’d been this close to anyone, much less someone who you found attractive and was offering--

“Fuck it, yeah,” you breathed out.

\-----  
You left Daniel’s house with a smile and a new number in your phone. Well, you were happy. Until you went to order an Uber back to your house and realized that you had six unread texts from Dave. Suddenly, you felt overwhelmingly guilty. You just brushed off your best friend to fuck his doppelganger, who the fuck does that? Who the fuck sleeps with someone who looks so similar to their best friend? God, you always thought Dave was hot, and kind, and funny, sweet, beautiful, oh fuck, did you have a crush on Dave? Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! How could you look at him? How long had this been going on? Yeah, he’s attractive, but everyone thought so! Yeah, you could definitely see yourself with him for the rest of your lives, but isn’t that just how best bros feel about each other? Isn’t it? Your phone buzzed again and you looked down, dreading a text from Dave. Thankfully, it was your Uber. It had just pulled up in front of the house you were still in front of. You smoothed out your hair and pulled on the collar of your sweater to cover the few hickies you had, trying to make it look like you hadn’t just been fucked to the moon and back. You got in the car and tried to forget about Daniel. And Dave. And the tears that were definitely not rolling down your cheeks, and the weird yet sympathetic look you were getting from the Uber driver, and the way your phone buzzed one last time with a “guess ur nappin. sleep well bro” from Dave. Everything really.

You got back to your house in basically no time. The kitchen light was on, which means your brother was probably home, oh god. He did not need to see you with tear tracks and hickies and sex hair. You rushed inside and immediately stomped up the stairs, trying to make just enough noise to sound normal and cover your sniffles. But of fucking course, because you’re you and you have shitty luck, Kankri called you down. You yelled at him to fuck off, but your voice was shaky and he definitely noticed, causing him to rush up the stairs and hold your bedroom door open when you tried to slam it.

“Karkat, Karkat, what’s wrong?” Kankri sounded genuinely concerned, which was a bit shocking to you, honestly.

“Don’t fucking worry about it Kankri. I’m fine,” you tried your best to sound convincing, but it was hard when the tears had started up again.

“Obviously not. Come downstairs, I’ll make you hot cocoa,” he tried, but you just shook your head. You felt your throat choke up, and tried to slam your door again before you let out an embarrassing sob, but Kankri just stopped the door again.

“Karkat, please. You’re not okay, I want to help.”

You opened your mouth to respond, probably to yell at him to fuck off and mind his own business, but the words never made it out. Instead of what you thought would be a sob to interrupt you, it was a cough. A lot of coughs, actually. A coughing fit that had you keening over and your arms around your stomach before you hacked up… something. You didn’t quite see what it was, your vision was blurry and it just looked red. You heard Kankri gasp and felt his arms around you after a few seconds though. “Come on Karkat, downstairs. Now.” he demanded, and at this point, you just glared and started your way down, without even looking at what you thought was just a lump of blood on the floor.

When you sat down, albeit reluctantly, at the kitchen table, you finally wiped your mouth, ignoring the blood on your hand. “What the fuck do you want Kankri?” you asked, your voice scratchy and angry.

“Karkat, you just got home crying, you look like a mess, and then you coughed up blood. Not just blood. No. You coughed up-” Kankri looked away from you, tears welling up in his eyes. “You coughed up-” he shook his head and held out his hand, which was now covered in your drying blood. In the middle of it sat a few crinkled flower petals. “Who is it? Did you just get dumped? I didn’t know- is it that Terezi girl? Or um, that kid, John? Or Da-”

“I’m not dating anyone, jesus Kankri. You’re so fucking annoying. My heart isn’t broken, and I don’t have that stupid flower disease, okay? I just choked on that shit. Don’t make fucking assumptions!” You half yelled, your throat still sore from the flower petals.

“Karkat please, I just want to help,” he said in his attempt at a soothing voice. “It’s okay. If you want, we can get you the surgery, you’re old enough to consent without Dad.”

“Jesus fucking- I’m fucking fine!” You stood up and slammed your hands on the table.

“Shh, please, listen,” he tried, but you had lost the very little amount of patience you had. This was definitely the worst day. You just wanted a fucking friend and you ended up sleeping with some random guy who caused you to realize your feelings for Dave, which were apparently, very fucking developed, and now that you knew, your body goes and decides to give you fucking hanahaki disease, because you know, why the fuck not? 

“No, Kankri! I’ve had the worst fucking day of my entire fucking life! I don’t want to fucking-” you were cut off by another coughing fit, but managed to catch all the petals in your hand this time. “I don’t want to fucking talk about my feelings or whatever bullshit you’re suggesting. I’m fine. I’m fucking dandy. A-OK over here, bitchboy, oh brother of mine. Now leave me the fuck alone.”

With that, you stomped back up the stairs, fist tight around the bloody petals in your hand. All you fucking wanted to do was call Dave, but at the same time, he was the last person you wanted to talk to. God, of all people, why him? Why did you have to like him? He would never like you back, you two were best bros. You didn’t even deserve him as that. Maybe you should talk to Gamzee, you two were really close up until last year when he got in a screaming match with some of your mutual friends. No, there’s no way that would cheer you up. He’d definitely point out the marks on your neck, and you really didn’t want to think about Daniel. Sleep. Sleep sounded good. It was still early, but you might as well, right? Nothing better to do at this point, you thought. You crashed face first into your bed, closing your eyes and willing yourself slowly into sleep.  
\-----  
The rest of spring break dragged by painfully slowly. Dave texted you multiple times a day to ask if you were okay, even calling you a few times. You couldn’t bring yourself to answer, even though you knew he’d be pissed at you when he got back. You thanked every being you could think of that he didn’t have Kankri’s number. Ignoring him only made the flower petals more frequent though. From the few you coughed up on the third day of break, you had now progressed to at least five coughing fits a day, ending with a trash can full of flower petals next to your bed. Kankri came in to check on you and bring you food every day, but you still refused to talk other than to tell your brother to fuck right off, you’re fine. You only had two more days of break left though, and the day Dave was supposed to be back had arrived. You had locked your bedroom door and turned off your phone completely, hoping that would be enough to drive him away. Logically, you knew that it was in no way enough, but you could hope.

When five pm rolled around and you heard pounding on your bedroom door, you pretended to be surprised. You could hear Dave’s voice on the other side, screaming in a manner you would really only expect from yourself. Huh, guess you had rubbed off on him.

“Karkat fucking Vantas, I swear to god, if you don’t open this goddamn door right this instant, I will kick it down. I know you’re fucking in there, I saw your lamp on through your window. Don’t fucking ignore me! Karkat!”

You dissolved into another coughing fit, a whole flower falling out of your mouth this time. The sound seemed to shut Dave up for a second though.

“Karkat?” he asked hesitantly, “is- are you okay? I’m really worried.”

Oh shit.

“Please bro, open the door. I know how to pick locks, you know that. Don’t make me. Please.”

Oh fuck. You got up from your bed and wiped your hand on your pillowcase, hiding the trash can in your closet as quickly as you could, stumbling as you did.

“Karks… please…” you could hear his head knock against the wood of your door before he was jiggling the door knob again.

You sighed and walked to the door. “Dave,” you started, your voice scratchy and unused. “Dave, go away,” you cringed at the words.

“What? Karkat? No, no fucking way. I haven’t spoken to you in weeks, I fucking miss you and I’m really worried. Open the door before I do.”

“Dave, I- I can’t. Go away.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“I just can’t,” you muttered, resting your hand on the lock. You knew you’d let him in eventually, you just wanted to believe you couldn’t.

“Karks, please. Please. I miss you.”

Click.

You backed away from the door the second you unlocked it, allowing Dave to stumble in.

“Dude, what the fuck! Where have you been! Why haven’t you fucking respond- why does it smell like a cow died in here?” He looked disgusted. Fucking great. Fantastic.

“Dave, just fucking go,” you looked down at your bare feet, suppressing a cough. Wait at least until he’s gone.

“No. I can’t. What the fuck is wrong, Karkat? At first I was pissed but now I’m just worried. And a little pissed, I can’t help it. But you look like shit, you smell even worse, and I don’t- this is the longest we’ve ever gone without talking, man. I need you,” he blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh. No homo, I guess.”

That was it. You fell on the floor, retching as the flowers in your lungs made their way up your throat. You could feel your vision going blurry, then darken. You could feel Dave’s arms around your waist, his breath on the back of your neck, his fist hitting your back trying to help you breathe. You could vaguely hear his voice shouting for help. A full flower fell from your lips, a stem attached to it. Shit.

“Kark? Karkat? KK?” Dave rubbed your back worriedly. You felt tears streaming down your cheeks, vaguely registering that you were apologizing in some broken voice that definitely didn’t sound like yours. “It’s okay buddy. It’s okay,” he shushed, resting his hand atop your head. “It’s okay. We can- we can fix this. We can-” god, he sounded so upset. You wondered why for a second. “It’s okay Karkles,” you couldn’t hear yourself think over Dave’s voice. Fuck.

You sat up, body sore and looked at Dave. He had taken his shades off, staring at you with intense worry.

“Can I ask who?” You shook your head.

“Please Karkat, it can’t be that bad,” another head shake. You looked up at him, probably looking angrier than you should in this situation.

“Fucking-” you sputtered. “Fucking you.”

“What?”

“You, David. I’m in love with you.”

He fell silent at that and you sighed. Of course. You knew he wouldn’t like you back, you don’t know why you decided to tell him.

“Me?”

“Yes, dipshit. That’s what I’m saying. Now get out of my house before I get any worse.”

“I- Karkles, no.”

“Excuse me?”

“No. Karkles, I- I’ve liked you for- god, fuck-” and with that, he kissed you. Wait- he kissed you? He likes you back? What?


End file.
